From The Inside Out
by Hillsong United
A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
By His Wounds We Are Healed
"All the Heavens"
Third Day
As Your children gather in peace
All the angels sing in Heaven
In Your temple all that I seek
Is to glimpse Your holy presence
All the heavens cannot hold You, Lord
How much less to dwell in me?
How much less to dwell in me?
I can only make my one desire
Holding on to Thee
All the angels exalt You on high
What a kingdom to depart!
But You left Your throne in the sky
Just to live inside my heart
I will always make my one desire
Holding on to Thee
This song just helped me to understand what my next steps need to be during the last few weeks I have left here in Mexico. I desire so many things. I feel like I am just one big bag of mixed desires! (this bag is filled with... I want to go home. I want to stay. I want to be sad. I want to be better. I want to have energy. I want to have the time to work more on my Spanish. I want to be a better house guest to my host family. I want to help all my friends on the trip who are struggling with home sickness, or other problems. I want to be stronger. I want to hug my family. I want to rest in my own house. I want to know what is exactly wrong with me. I want all these things.... I'm telling you a mixed bag of emotions.) Anyway, this song came up on my itunes, and something about it was just really was soothing to me. I played it over and over.
Upon listening to the words more and more it just hit me . He can be my ONLY desire.
And what do you do when something is your ONLY desire, you spend time with what you desire.
Sure maybe my Dad was right, in saying that I am just worrying too much. And now it is time to just trust the Lord. Later that night, I was reading and praying, about "healing."
People were healed by just touching the Lord. How do I do that!? I wanted to be healed!!!
Then, I thought, How do we touch Jesus, now? Then I realized, through spending time with Him.... my ONLY desire. I can't touch him for His healing power, until I spend time with him and pray fervently.
People were healed by just touching the Lord. How do I do that!? I wanted to be healed!!!
Then, I thought, How do we touch Jesus, now? Then I realized, through spending time with Him.... my ONLY desire. I can't touch him for His healing power, until I spend time with him and pray fervently.
By his wounds we are healed: mind, body and soul.
My Jesus I love Thee
I know Thou art mine
Friday, April 18, 2008
Enferma
Oh the Blog…
I have been wanting to write this blog for a couple of weeks now. However, for the past three and a half weeks, I have been captured in a cloud that was made by the strongest infection that has ever taken over my body. I don't really remember much of the past few weeks, they just seemed like one step after another. I believe this whole experience of being sick, has become a huge life lesson. There were days when I am able to move forward, those were the days were I really lean on the Lord. Then there were days, where I was just trying to make it to the next morning. Those days I had no energy to lean on him what so ever. Through it all, I have learned about one of my deepest fears. I mean it was like I was trudging threw the deep, murky parts of my heart to discover this fear.
THE FEAR: Being Sick
BEHIND THE FEAR: lack of control & ability to save myself.
(Control… I like to think I am not a control freak. But really, I had no control of my own body, which really just frustrated me to the point of tears. Over time, rest, and medicines… I still wasn't getting better. And I just wanted to feel better, so I could enjoy this opportunity. But sure enough, there was another plan at hand.)
I have always had this fear of being so sick. Like, what if I get sick and it is too late and I can't do anything about it? These questions have always haunted me. They parade threw my mind, like the Thanksgiving Parade in New York. These thoughts don't have any reason or locic behind them and they don't belong. And I know it.
I just kept praying, during what seemed like such dark hours, that the Lord would just have the control. I wont lie, in those times, my faith felt so small.
All I could do, was habitually read Matthew 6:22- The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
I don't know how to properly explain how this played out in my head, but I just remember thinking. I don't want my body to have this darkness(or sickness), I want the light, the light of christ. But I just had to stop "looking" (focusing) o n the darkness (sickness). I want to look at the light, because I just want a good body again.
Then I continued to read Matthew 6:25- "I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; (And at that point, I had probably lost maybe five to ten pounds, because everything I was eating and drinking just made me worse. I'm telling you… I was sticks and bones!) Then the kicker! Matthew 6:25 continues to say, don't worry about your body,… Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
This just hit me so hard. And now in the times where I still feel really sick, I am just going to continue to look toward the light, because that is the true and only way my body with be full of goodness.
(Now, I know, that all these verses have many different things behind them, then what I am saying… but really this is something I felt God really placed on my heart as truth. And I don't think they are that far of the main point. I'm just saying this is just another perspective of how you can think of them.)
But my wisdom is… TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY, there is no such thing as trading in your body. You only have one, and without it you are without doing what you might dream of accomplishing!)
I have been wanting to write this blog for a couple of weeks now. However, for the past three and a half weeks, I have been captured in a cloud that was made by the strongest infection that has ever taken over my body. I don't really remember much of the past few weeks, they just seemed like one step after another. I believe this whole experience of being sick, has become a huge life lesson. There were days when I am able to move forward, those were the days were I really lean on the Lord. Then there were days, where I was just trying to make it to the next morning. Those days I had no energy to lean on him what so ever. Through it all, I have learned about one of my deepest fears. I mean it was like I was trudging threw the deep, murky parts of my heart to discover this fear.
THE FEAR: Being Sick
BEHIND THE FEAR: lack of control & ability to save myself.
(Control… I like to think I am not a control freak. But really, I had no control of my own body, which really just frustrated me to the point of tears. Over time, rest, and medicines… I still wasn't getting better. And I just wanted to feel better, so I could enjoy this opportunity. But sure enough, there was another plan at hand.)
I have always had this fear of being so sick. Like, what if I get sick and it is too late and I can't do anything about it? These questions have always haunted me. They parade threw my mind, like the Thanksgiving Parade in New York. These thoughts don't have any reason or locic behind them and they don't belong. And I know it.
I just kept praying, during what seemed like such dark hours, that the Lord would just have the control. I wont lie, in those times, my faith felt so small.
All I could do, was habitually read Matthew 6:22- The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
I don't know how to properly explain how this played out in my head, but I just remember thinking. I don't want my body to have this darkness(or sickness), I want the light, the light of christ. But I just had to stop "looking" (focusing) o n the darkness (sickness). I want to look at the light, because I just want a good body again.
Then I continued to read Matthew 6:25- "I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; (And at that point, I had probably lost maybe five to ten pounds, because everything I was eating and drinking just made me worse. I'm telling you… I was sticks and bones!) Then the kicker! Matthew 6:25 continues to say, don't worry about your body,… Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
This just hit me so hard. And now in the times where I still feel really sick, I am just going to continue to look toward the light, because that is the true and only way my body with be full of goodness.
(Now, I know, that all these verses have many different things behind them, then what I am saying… but really this is something I felt God really placed on my heart as truth. And I don't think they are that far of the main point. I'm just saying this is just another perspective of how you can think of them.)
But my wisdom is… TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY, there is no such thing as trading in your body. You only have one, and without it you are without doing what you might dream of accomplishing!)
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